This is the third and final instalment of Ryan Holiday’s modern stoicism trilogy. We’ve previously review The Obstacle Is The Way and Ego Is The Enemy, now it’s time for Stillness Is The Key.

With all of the chaos going on in the world around us, it’s hard for us to find the time and mental focus we need to get things done. We’re always reachable, the news constantly has something new we need to read, there’s always another podcast to listen to, our to-do list keeps getting longer and longer. In order to do more and achieve me, we must cultivate Stillness.

Grab a copy of the book here: https://www.bookdepository.com/Stillness-is-Key-Ryan-Holiday/9781788162050/?a_aid=adamsbooks

 

Stillness Is The Key – Summary

In the first century AD, Seneca (Rome’s most influential power broker) was struggling to work. 

Rome was a cacophony of disturbances: athletes worked out in gyms below him, masseuses pummeled the backs of old fat men, swimmers splashed in the water outside his window, pickpockets were being arrested and were causing a scene, children played and laughed, birds crowed, dogs barked. So much chaos was going on around him that he couldn’t concentrate. At the same time, his life was seemingly falling apart – crisis after crisis, overseas unrest threatened his finances, he was getting older and slower, his enemies had pushed him out of politics, he was in a feud with Emperor Nero and one wrong move could mean he lost his head. He said that he began to hate his own powers of hearing, wishing for silence so that he could focus.

He made it his newest mission to find peace and serenity to actually think clearly and write perfectly crafted essays even in the middle of the chaos. “I have toughened my nerves against all that sort of thing. I force my mind to concentrate, and keep from straying to things outside itself. All outdoors may be bedlam, provided that there is no disturbance within”.   

Seneca wrote: “you may be sure that you are at peace with yourself when no noise reaches you, when no words shake you out of yourself, whether it be flattery or threat, or merely an empty sound buzzing around you” .  

Isn’t that what we all crave?  To be able to tune out our surroundings, to access one’s full capabilities at any time, in any place, despite every difficulty?  How wonderful that would be, think about how much we could accomplish, how much happier we will be.

These ideas are made even more powerful in the fact that EVERY single religion and every philosophy of the ancient world came to the exact same conclusion. Everyone was calling for imperturbability, unruffledness, tranquility. The buddhists spoke of ‘uphekka’, the muslims (aslama), the Hebrews (hishtavut), in the Bhagavad Gita is was ‘samatvam’, the Greeks had ‘euthymia’, the Christians ‘aequanimitas’. 

In English = STILLNESS

• To be steady while the world spins around you  
• to act without frenzy  
• to hear only what needs to be heard  
• to possess quietude on command  

When basically ALL of the wisdom of the ancient world agrees on something, only a fool would decline to listen.

Blaise Pascale: “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone”. Stillness allows us to persevere, to succeed. It is the key that unlocks the insights of genius. It’s an attainable path to enlightenment and excellence, greatness and happiness, performance as well as presence, for every kind of person. 

Stillness is the key…

• • to thinking clearly  
  • to seeing the whole chessboard  
  • to making tough decisions  
  • to managing our emotions  
  • to identify the right goals  
  • to handling high-pressure situations  
  • to maintaining relationships  
  • to building good habits  
  • to being productive  
  • to physical excellence  
  • to feeling fulfilled  
  • to capturing moments of laughter and joy  

Stillness is the key to just about everything. To being a better parent, a better artist, a better investor, a better athlete, a better scientist, a better human being. To unlocking all that we are capable of in this life. To achieve stillness, we need to focus on three domains: the domain of the mind, the domain of the spirit, and the domain of the body (the head, the heart, the flesh). Stillness lies naturally within us, but accessing it is not easy.

 

THE DOMAIN OF THE MIND  

LIMIT YOUR INPUTS
 “A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention”.

As a general, Napoleon made it his habit to delay responding to the mail. He instructed his secretary to wait 3 weeks before opening any letter he received. When he finally heard what was in that letter, he loved to note that there were so many supposedly “important” issues had simply resolved themselves and no longer needed his reply. 

He was never out of touch with his government or his soldiers, and he was never negligent of what was going on. But, in order to be active and aware of what actually mattered, he had to be selective about who and what kind of information got access to his brain. He told his messengers to never interrupt him with ‘good’ news (he could get to that later). Bad new was to be brought to him immediately – he wanted to be able to respond quickly to any urgent crisis that may affect his campaign.

These are brilliant accommodations for the life of a busy person. There’s WAY too much information coming at us. In order to think clearly, it is essential that each of us figures out how to filter the inconsequential from the essential. It’s not enough to be inclined toward deep thought and sober analysis – a leader must actively create time and space for it .

Each of us has access to more information than we could reasonably use. We tell ourselves that it’s part of our job, that we have “to be on top of things” and so we give up precious time to news, reports, meetings and other forms of feedback .

Epictetus: “If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless to stupid or extraneous matters”. Napoleon was content with being behind on his mail, even if it upset some people or if he missed out on some gossip, because it meant the trivial problems had to resolve themselves without him. We need to cultivate a similar attitude: give things a little space, don’t consume news in real time, be a season behind, don’t let your inbox rule your day. 

The important stuff will still be important when you get to it. the unimportant will have made its insignificance obvious (or simply disappeared). Then, with stillness rather than needless urgency or exhaustion, you will be able to sit down and give what deserves consideration your FULL attention. There is EGO trying to be the most informed person in the room (to know all of the latest trends, fads, news, gossip). But we could turn our attention to more important things if we shift toward a longer-term view.

 

SEEK WISDOM 

Every school of thought has a word for “wisdom”, and in all religions and philosophies this is one of the highest levels of attainments. The search for truth: Hebrew = chokmah |  Islam = hikma | Greek = sophie |  Latin = sapentia | Buddhism = Prajna 

Each has its own take on wisdom, but the same themes appear in all of them.

• the need to ask questions  
• the need to study and reflect  
• the importance of intellectual humility  
• the power of experiences (especially mistakes and failure) to open our eyes to TRUTH and UNDERSTANDING  

Wisdom is the sense of the big picture, the accumulation of experience and the ability to rise above biases (the traps that catch the lazier thinkers)  

Books are a great introductory step. But don’t stop there!! there is much more beyond books  

but books are basically an essential. Tolstoy: “I cannot understand how some people can live without communicating with the wisest people who ever lived on earth” . The new cliche: “people who don’t read have no advantage of people who can’t read”. 

There’s little advantage in reading with arrogance or to confirm pre existing opinions either. Hitler read while in prison after WWI – he read the classics of history – instead of learning something new, he said he learned “the correctness of his views”. That’s not wisdom – that’s not even stupidity – that’s insanity.

BUT – do not mistake the pursuit of wisdom for an endless parade of sunshine and puppies. Wisdom does not immediately produce stillness or clarity. In fact, it might even make things less clear at first. Remember – Socrates looked honestly at what he didn’t know, and he asked questions. It’s painful to have our illusions punctured, it’s painful to admit we don’t know everything, it’s painful to admit that we have some weaknesses or deficiencies. It’s humbling to learn that we are not as smart as we thought we were.

It’s also inevitable that the diligent student will uncover disconcerting or challenging ideas – about the world and about themselves. It’s unsettling, but that’s ok. It’s better than crashing through life (and into each other) like blind moles. We must sit with doubt and follow where it leads… because on the other side is truth  

 

LET GO  

The great archery master Awa Kenzo did not focus on teaching technical mastery of the bow . He spent almost no time instructing his students how to deliberately aim and shoot, telling them to simply draw back a shot until is ‘fell from you like ripe fruit’. He taught an important mental skill: detachment.

 What stood in the way was too much “willful will” – we want to be in control and we want the power to dictate what happens next. Instead, Kenzo wanted students to put the thought of hitting the target out of their minds. He wanted them to detach from the outcome and focus on the process. Often, the more we want something, the more difficult it is to achieve it.

If you try really hard to hit a golf ball really far, you’ll end up mis-hitting it and hitting the top of the ball so it gets knocked just 2m off the edge of the tee (speaking from personal experience). If you try too quickly to look where the ball is going, you jerk your head up too early and end up slicing it off to the side.  

In archery, the effort you’re spending on aiming at the target is mental focus you’re taking away from developing perfect form. If you’re too conscious of the mechanic technical components of shooting, you won’t be relaxed or smooth enough. Marksmen say: “slow is smooth, smooth is fast”.

Therefore, stillness is actually a way to superior performance – looseness will give you more control. than gripping tightly (both physically gripping to your apparatus, and emotionally gripping to a desired outcome).

Master Kenzo knew that in the early 20th century archery ability was no longer a matter of life and death. You no longer had to use a bow and arrow in war against a neighboring rival, and you no longer had to hunt down your food with a bow and arrow. So because being a perfectly accurate killer was no longer essential, he could use archery as a way to train many more important things of the current world:  

• focus  
• patience  
• breathing  
• persistence  
• stillness  
• most of all – the ability to let go  

What we need in life is to loosen up and become more flexible. We need to get to a place where nothing is in our way. An actor doesn’t immerse herself in her character by THINKING about it – she must let go and surrender to the role.

Entrepreneurs don’t walk around the streets looking for opportunities t start a new business – they have to deliberately STOP thinking about and open themselves up to noticing the little things around them. The same goes for comedians looking for material or parents looking to raise a good kid.

Mastering our mental domain, as paradoxical as it sounds, requires us to step back from the rigidity of the word “mastery”. We’ll get the stillness we need if we focus on the individual steps, if we embrace the process, and give up CHASING. We’ll think better if we aren’t thinking so hard. 

If we aim for the trophy in life (wealth, power, status, recognition), we’ll miss the target. If we aim too intensely, we will neglect the process and the art required to hit it. What we should be doing is practicing – what we should be doing is pushing away that willful will. The closer we get to mastery, the less we care about specific results. the more collaborative and creative we are able to be, the less we will tolerate ego or insecurity. the more at peace we are, the more productive we can be.  

Only through stillness are the vexing problems solved. only through reducing our aims are the most difficult targets within our reach. 

  

DOMAIN OF THE SPIRIT  

CHOOSE VIRTUE 
 Ralph Waldo Emerson: “The essence of greatness is the perception that virtue is enough”.

No one has less serenity than the person who does not know what is right or wrong. No one is more exhausted than the person who must belabour every decision and consider every temptation because they lack a moral code. No one feels worse about themselves than the cheater or the liar, even if they are showered with rewards for cheating and lying.

Life IS meaningless to the person who decides their choices have no meaning.

Meanwhile, the person who knows their value and has a strong sense of decency and principle, and behaves accordingly, who possesses easy moral self-command – THIS person has found stillness. The gift of free will is that we can choose to be good or we can choose to be bad. The choices we make in that regard determine whether we will experience peace or not. Each of us needs to sit down and examine what we stand for, what we believe is essential and important, what we are really living for. Our busy-ness and the realities of pursuing a career stand in the way of us taking the time to get that true understanding of ourselves and getting self-knowledge. 

There’s no question that it’s possible to get ahead in life by lying and cheating and generally being awful to other people. This may even be the QUICKEST way to the top, in some instances. But it comes at the expense of not only your self-respect, but your security too. 

Virtue, on the other hand, is a far more attainable and sustainable way to succeed. Recognition is dependent on other people. Getting rich requires business opportunities to be presented to you. No one can stand in your way from doing what’s right (nothing but yourself). 

Each of us must cultivate a moral code, a higher standard that we must love more than life itself . Each of us must sit down and ask:  What is important to me? What would I rather die for than betray? How am I going to live? and Why?  

 These aren’t simple questions you can answer on a multi choice personality quiz you see on Facebook. we must find deep answers if we want to achieve the stillness that comes from solid virtues  

  

ENOUGH   

 Two writers Kurt and Joseph were at a party of a billionaire in New York City. Kurt joked “how does it feel that this billionaire made more money yesterday than all your book sales will over your career? ”. Joseph replied: “I’ve got something he’ll never have… the knowledge that I’ve got enough”. 

Most people never learn that their accomplishments will ultimately fail to provide the relief and happiness we tell ourselves they will. Or they come to understand this only after so much time and money. So many relationships and moments of inner peace were sacrificed on the altar of achievement. We get to the finish line only to think: this is  it? Now what?   

“When you realize there is nothing lacking. The whole world belongs to you” – Lao Tzu  

You will never feel okay by way of external accomplishments. Enough comes from the inside. From seeing what you already have and what you’ve always had. If a person can do that, they are richer than any billionaire.

Yet instead of seizing this path to power, we choose the insecurity of wanting more, more, more. We think we need more and don’t realize we have so much. We work so hard “for our families” that we don’t notice the contradiction. That it’s because of the work that we don’t see them   

What do we want more of in life? It’s not accomplishments or popularity. It’s more moments when we feel like we are enough. More presence, clarity, insight, truth, stillness  

   
 

THE DOMAIN OF THE BODY  

GET RID OF YOUR STUFF  

One of Seneca’s most powerful metaphors is that the slave owner is owned by his slaves, and that a wealthy man’s vast estate lauds power over him rather than the other way around. Montaigne was perceptive enough to ask whether it was in fact he who was the pet of his cat. Xunzi of the East: “the gentleman makes things his servants. The petty man is servant to things”. In short, mental and spiritual independence matter little if the things we own in the physical world end up owning us.

We don’t need to get rid of ALL of our possessions, but we should constantly question what we own, why we own it, and whether we could do without it. “If a man can reduce his needs to zero, he is truly free” there is nothing than can be taken from him and nothing anyone can do to hurt him. It’s not the possessions that are the problem, but the dependence on them  

 “Comfort Creep”: We get so used to a level of comfort and convenience and luxury that it becomes almost inconceivable that we used to live without it. As our wealth grows, so does our sense of “normal”. But just a few years ago, we were fine without that bounty. We used to eat two minute noodles and live in a small apartment. now that we have more our mind begins to lie to us. it’s toxic and scary.  

Start claiming back your stillness. Start by walking around your house and filling up trash bags and boxes with everything you don’t use. Think of it as clearing more room for your mind and your body. Give yourself space. Give your mind a rest. give more away. 

Don’t use your money to purchase loneliness or headaches or status anxiety. The best car is not the one that turns the most heads, but the one you have to worry about the least. The best clothes are the ones that are the most comfortable, the ones that take the least amount of time shopping – not the ones on the front of the magazines. The best house for you is the ones that feels most like home. 

Think of the family who never see each other because both parents are working overtime to pay off the extra bedrooms they never use. Or the fame that keeps someone on the road so much they’re a stranger to the kids. The supposed ‘technology’ that is a pain in the ass to figure out, and you get so frustrated you feel like smashing it. The fancy, expensive possessions that we’re constantly cleaning, buffing, protecting, and trying to find ways to slyly mention in conversation. This is not a rich life. there is no peace in this.

Take Action: Get out from under all your stuff. Get rid of it – give away or throw away anything you don’t need. You were born free – free of stuff, free of burden. But since the first time they measured your tiny body for clothes, people have been foisting STUFF upon you. And you’ve been adding links to the pile of chains yourself ever since.  

  

FIND A HOBBY  

William Gladstone was the Prime Minister of the UK 4 times for a total of about 15 years between 1868 and 1894. He had an unusual hobby: chopping down big trees by hand with an axe. In 1876, he spent two full days working on a thick elm tree, with a girth of 16 feet. From his diaries, he went out and chopped over ONE THOUSAND trees with his axe. Sometimes he would bring his family to make a family outing from it, sometimes he would be alone and would be thinking of nothing else other than where the next axe stroke would fall. 

Many critics criticised this hobby as destructive, but it wasn’t. Gladstone planted ten of thousands of trees in his life, pruned and cared for hundreds more, and aggressively protected the health of the forest in which he felled dead trees. In response to a critic, he explained that removing dead and rotten members of the forest allowed more light and air to get to the good trees – just like in politics. His daughters also sold wooden souvenirs from trees he’d cut down to raise money for charity. 

But above all, his hobby of chopping down trees allowed him a period of ‘rest’ – a chance to get away from his day-to-day life, do something completely different, use his body instead of his mind, and find stillness. Activities like chopping trees, hiking, mountain climbing – gave him relief from the pressures of politics, a challenge for which effort was always rewarded and with which his opponents could not interfere. He also read, collecting and reading over 25,000 books in his lifetime. 

Hobbies Provide that much needed respite, a period of rest that allow you to takle your duties more fully.

Religious Icons: JESUS rested out on the water, fishing with his disciples. SENECA wrote about how SOCRATESloved to play with children, CATO used to relax with friends and wine, SCIPIO was passionate about music . SENECA rested from politics by writing philosophical letters to friends.

Legends of the Past: SAINT TERESA loved to dance. Sword Master MIYAMOTO MUSASHI took up painting. PYTHAGORAS played the lyre.

Modern Day Icons: DAVID SEDARIS goes for long walks around his neighbourhoods back roads. CHRIS BOSH (NBA) taught himself to code. EINSTEIN played the violin.

The ability to be ‘at leisure’ is one of the basic powers of the human soul. Leisure is not the absence of activity, it comes about directly through some activity. The thing that is absent is the external justification – you’re not doing it to achieve some specific outcome, you’re simply doing it for you.

But the good news is, leisure can be anything. it can be cutting down trees, learning another language, camping, restoring old cars, riding horses, writing poetry, knitting, running marathons, painting, or bricklaying. The point isn’t simply to find the hours to distract the mind. Rather, it’s to engage a pursuit that simultaneously challenges and relaxes us: assembling a puzzle, strugg;lig through a guitar song, ladling soup at a homeless shelter. Our bodies are busy, but our minds are open. our hearts are too. 

Of course, leisure can easily become an escape, but the second that happens it’s not leisure any more. when we take something relaxing and turn it into. Compulsion, it’s no longer leisure, because we’re no longer CHOOSING to do it. No one is making us do this. We can quit if we’re struggling, we can cut corners and cheat (ourselves) without fear of repercussion. No money is on the line to motivate us, no rewards or validation but the experience. To do leisure well – to be present, to be open, to be virtuous, to be connected – is hard. We cannot let it turn into a job, into another thing to dominate and to dominate others through. We must be disciplines about our discipline and moderate in our moderation.

  

STILLNESS IS THE KEY

In addition to everything that was going on in Seneca’s world, TODAY we have mobile phones, car horns, stereos, alarms, chainsaws, airplanes, and social media. Our personal and professional problems are equally overwhelming. Competitors muscle into our industry, our desks pile higher with papers, our inboxes overflow with messages. We are always reachable, which means that arguments and problems never end and you can never escape. News bombards us with one crisis after another on every screen we have (of which there are many)

“We are overfed, undernourished. We’re overstimulated, overscheduled, but also lonely.”  Stillness lies naturally within us, but accessing it is not easy. One must really listen to hear it speaking to us, and answering that call requires stamina and mastery. Accessing stillness means we can do less and do more. we can accomplish more but need it less. we can feel better and BE better at the same time.

 Stillness Is The Key. To achieve stillness, we need to focus on three domains: the domain of the mind, the domain of the spirit, and the domain of the body (the head, the heart, the flesh). In each domain we will seek to reduce the disturbances and perturbations that make stillness impossible, to cease the war within ourselves and to establish a lasting stillness.