The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem – by Nathaniel Branden

‘The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field’

I: The Practice of Living Consciously
II: The Practice of Self Acceptance
III: The Practice of Self Responsibility
IV: The Practice of Self Assertiveness
V: The Practice of Living Purposefully
VI: The Practice of Personal Integrity

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

The Definitive Work on Self Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field

• To face life with low self-esteem is to be at a severe disadvantage
• The book is for all men and woman who wish to participate actively in their evolution, a book about what is possible

Self Esteem Is

1. Confidence in ability to think and cope with challenges of life
2. Confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants, achieve our values, and enjoy the fruits of our woman

• To trust one’s mind and to know that one is worthy of happiness is the essence of self-esteem
• More likely to persist in the face of difficulties
• More likely to give up without trying your best
• If I persevere more likely to succeed
• Allows us to feel better and live better, respond to challenges and opportunities more resourcefully
• Not a substitute for knowledge and skills in the world, but it increases the likelihood that one can obtain them

“In a world in which the total of human knowledge is doubling about every 10 years, our security can rest only on our ability to learn”

High Self Esteem…

• High self-esteem more likely to record interesting ideas and cultivate them, they value the productions of their mind. Low self-esteem won’t even record them
• Self-esteem flows with reality, self-doubt fights it
• Willingness to admit mistakes
• Innovators/entrepreneurs need high self-esteem to move away from comfort to explore ideas
• High self-esteem seeks challenging goals
• The higher our self-esteem the more honest and appropriate our communications are likely to be, as we believe our thoughts have value and we can communicate not fearing clarity
• We feel most at home with peoples whose self-esteem resembles our own

Self Fulfilling Prophecies

• A person image of the future may be a better predictor of the future attainment than his past performance

Self Esteem Immune System

• The immune system of consciousness, providing resistance, strength, and capacity for regeneration

Chapter 1 – The Practice of Living Consciously

All forms of spiritual traditions explain that most human beings are sleepwalking through their existence. Enlightenment is identified with waking up

Consciousness: state of being aware of some aspect of reality

To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals – to the best of our ability, whatever that ability may be – and to have it in accordance with what we see and know

Living consciously implies respect for the facts of reality…

Fear and pain should be treated as signals not to close our eyes but to open them wider

Specifics:

• Living in the moment
• Distinguish facts
• Noticing and confronting impulses to avoid or deny painful or threatening realities
• Commitment to growth
• Being willing to accept new knowledge and reexamine old assumptions

Chapter 2 – The practice of Self Acceptance

• Level 1. Self-value that you are alive and conscious
• Level 2. Willingness to experience without denial, that we think what we think and feel, desire what we desire, done what we have done and are what we are… Don’t refuse any part of this

Accepting doesn’t always mean liking…

• Level 3. Compassion to self. Understand whatever you did, there are underlying reasons and that’s it… Like as if someone else stuffed you

“When we fight a block it grows stronger. When we acknowledge, experience and accept it begins to melt”

Chapter 3 – The practice of Self Responsibility

To feel competent and worthy of happiness, I need a sense of control over my existence.

Responsible for Achievement of My Desires

• No one owes me anything for my wishes
• Everyone organization has two types, those who wait for somebody else to provide the solution and those who take responsibility

Productiveness

• What actions are possible? What needs to be done? How can I improve my conditions?

Thinking independently

No One is Coming

• One of the most important concepts to realize is no one is coming
• If I don’t do something, nothing is going to get better

Chapter 4 – Self Assertiveness

• Honoring my wants, needs, values and seeking appropriate forms of their expression in reality
• Bringing ourselves into the world. To hold values is not assertive. To practice and pursue them is self-assertive
• Cannot think yourself as an idealist without acting out values
• Without assertiveness, we are spectators and not participants. Healthy self-esteem asks us to leap into the arena
• Not confronting things or people is not good, your self-esteem knows if you are being a little pussy
• Courage is vital in order to be self-assertive

Chapter 5 – The practice of Living Purposefully

• Do not live with hope or wish stuff. Do or not do, there is no try.
• To live without purpose is to live at the mercy of chance. The chance event, the chance phone call, the chance encounter because we have no standard of which to judge by…. Live like a cork floating on water with no initiative or purpose
• Take responsibility for one’s goals and purposes
• Monitoring behavior to make sure you are living aligned with your values
• Paying attention to the outcomes of your actions
• Need to balance living in present with having goals for the future
• Need this to match allocation of time to goals

Chapter6 – The practice of Personal Integrity

• Integrity assumes increasing our importance with our self-assessment
• When our behavior is congruent with our professed values, when ideals and practice match, we have personal integrity
• When we go against our values we lose face in our own eyes